Sometimes I wonder if it ever gets easier. Do you ever reach a moment when you can sit in pure contentment and feel that it has been a job well done? My To Do List has reached novel like proportions. I really don't think that it is every going to be finished. I am trying to be all things to all members (dog included) of this household and my school and honestly I feel that I am doing it poorly. Although show me a mother who feels that she is doing well and I'll show you a delusioned liar.
Things have been rough around here. Emotions are high and so is stress. I am standing here in the middle trying to keep things calm and diffuse potential battles. I am beginning to think that the first person who started small talk about the weather was a mother. Mothers can turn anything into a conversation: the blooms on the tree, an interesting cloud, the antics of a squirrel, or the next meal.
Unfortunately, my high energy youngest child does not handle stress well. Stress tends to amplify her personality quirks. When I am tired, what I normally find charming is mind numbing and grating. She has been openly defying me. No amount of punishment in the world seems to be making a bit of difference. I am so torn right now, I want her to mind, but I also don't want to wish away these last sweet moments of her childhood.
I am trying to do my best right now. I feel like I have been phoning it in lately. Next week, is Easter and Caroline's 14th birthday. I am going to try my best to make both events appropriately memorable. Provided Lily still isn't grounded.