Thursday, February 19, 2009

Happy Place

Boy, I've read through my last few posts and you can feel the tension rising off of me. This new background and picture (it's a Moon Flower from my summer garden) are my sincere attempts to relax.

I had a wonderful visit with the boys. We went to Mt Vernon in the rain and freezing cold, but we had the place to ourselves. I saw and learned so much. I highly recommend this form of tourism for those strong enough to brave the elements. My cousin, Luke, updated my music list. I now have fledgling "hipster parent" status. I will never fully achieve this, though, because I cling dearly to my "nerd mom" status. Tonight, I actually said to Caroline "There's a dictionary on that shelf, feel free to utilize it.", when she asked me how to spell excuses. I say these things partly to strengthen her independence, but mostly to irritate her. Mind you she was spelling excuses as part of a witty comedy she and her friend are co authoring (Be still my book worm heart! You gotta love that girl).

I almost had a peaceful evening (there will be no discussing the day). I baked more Amish Friendship bread (I need to find someone to give these starter bags to, I'm drowning in bubbling batter.). I played around on the computer and petted the dog. Callie really is my best friend. She loves me no matter what. I also believe she shares my tendency toward smart ass humor. You should see the looks she gives the kids.

It was this look she gave them when after 1/2 hour of bliss, I started barking orders like Louis Gosset Jr from An Officer and a Gentleman. "Clean up your junk! Put away your shoes! No markers in the den! We only draw on paper! I don't like it when dresser drawers are left open! Did you feed the rabbit? Put away your homework! Who's game is this! Can you hear me?! Do you even listen anymore? (Well, duh , Mom of course not. You shout the same things every night). That's it you're going to bed! Rob, do you see this? Can YOU hear me?"" Well you get the picture. Oh by the way, dry erase marker will wash off of a four year old's face very easily, not so much a sweater or the carpet.

What made the usual insanity funny was Rob. He kept singing "high anxiety" in a 20's voice and at one point started singing "We're going to go insane, ha ha." After we got the kids in bed and he made the same old joke while slicing the Amish bread ("I think I'll pinch a loaf."). Then he paused and said "I'm still making the same tired old jokes 20 years later. Is that why you still love me?" Well, it kind of is why. If all else fails, laugh.

Random additions:
I feel very much like Doogie Howser when I write this. Good or bad, I don't know?

I prefer the blog to Facebook. This is soothing and I am the master of all here. Facebook, while initially amusing is too over stimulating. It's like ADHD combined with no sleep: wired. I still enjoy seeing every ones walls and pictures. Just don't expect me to add too much flair or play games etc.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

At Last

The indecisive ever changing blog background has now found a more stable home (at least for now). I found a soothing background with nature and stuff. Yeah!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Look at Me and My Bad Self

I am so excited. I just figured out how to add a link to my blog from Facebook. Maybe the little wise a** geek who called me a "techno peasant" this summer can take it back. Nah, I'm still pretty technologically inept. Facebook has proven to be another awesome time suck that will help me add to my ever expanding "blogger butt." I do really like seeing what all my classmates are doing. I love seeing so many of them with happy families.

My poor Caroline has the stomach yucks now. I need to go tend to her.

Friday, February 13, 2009

I forgot

This message is for my father inlaw: read Risk Pool by Russell Russo. You'd really like it.

Major Frustrations and Sweet Observations

My number one fan, my father in law requested a new post. I hope he knows what he is in for. Well, I had a post planned about changing jobs and taking a leap of faith. It was going to be lovely. Then I made the fatal mistake of going in after work today (Lily is still sick) to deliver girl scout cookies. Oh boy. Upheaval and crankiness! I am generally a pretty good listener and pretty easy going (inside I'm a jumble of Type A anxiety), but I have lost count of how many people have dumped on me this month. Granted I want them to have someone who can listen, and I try to give good advice, but I think sometimes all of us forget the listener might have worries and things going on in her life too. Yeah, I try to make it all a joke, but some days I want to just curl up and cry my eyes out. Ok, I'm off my moral high horse. I really do like being needed. Oh yeah, as I pulled into the garage to drop off Caroline before I went to my friend's baby shower, Caroline threw up all over the garage floor. So I got a bucket of hot soapy water and tried to clean it up without messing up my "Yay, I'm going to talk to grown ups" outfit. I succeeded.

Despite being very over booked and over worked, I have so much to be happy and proud of. For example, I am witnessing the birth of a teacher. Caroline has been tutoring a little girl in the first grade class that I co teach. I have never seen her so dedicated and compassionate. She is determined to help this girl read enough books to earn her reading tee shirt prize. She asks me professional questions about how to help her. It is like speaking with a fellow teacher. Caroline has even made flash cards and collected little erasers to give her a small incentives. All of the sudden she has gone from the kid who only cared about dogs to the champion of the primary grades. She watches over the kindergartners on the bus and when they see her in the halls its like they've seen a rock star. Will I tell her she's a natural teacher? Heck no. That would be the undoing of all of this.

Lily continues to be a simultaneous stinker and sweetheart. Every night at bed time she asks me how much I love her. I make up silly answers and spread my arms wide and say "This much!" she replies "That's a lot of much." Then she asks if I'd give this hug to Daddy and hugs me and if I'd give him this kiss and kisses me. Man she could melt your heart.

Unless of course she's cracking you up. Like asking for a " closh wash" (wash cloth) or singing "ABC cheese Qrstuv." Or how about insisting her name is Lillain Elizabest. She can also be a little tyrant. Some days she wakes me up by patting my facing and saying "Helloo, get me some chocolate milk." I open one eye and growl "Excuse me?" She'll respond with "Hellooo, get me some chocolate milk pleeasse."

And don't forget my "mannys" will be here tomorrow. Yay!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Pepto Pink

Need I say more? Don't worry, Lily isn't really getting Pepto.

Feats of Vomit

How, how, how, for the love of Pete how? How did Lily manage to projectile vomit while coloring in a coloring book with her feet (I've told you my kid's unique)? Oh man I'm caught here in a vomit purgatory! When my sitter called me at work to share the news I yelled "No, I don't want it!" I think I shocked my new principal. She gave me a perplexed look. That's ok she's seven months pregnant with her first. She'll find out soon enough.

I think the most frustrating part here at home is that Lily doesn't understand she's sick. She throws up them continues to run around stirring her digestive juices. Then she throws up again and asks for fruit snacks. I say no and she looks at me like I slapped her. The crummy part is today was the day the bi weekly cleaning lady came (I'm not spoiled, it was that or give up sleep). So far Lily has thrown up on the carpet, her giant coloring book, her clothes, the blankets, and, oh yeah, the "throw up bowl." She has managed to grind a saltine into the rug and spill flat Sprite. Why can't she just sit in a feverish stupor and watch cartoons?

Someday, she will call me to inquire about why her own child won't just sit still and be sick. I'll smile and send her a copy of this.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Budget Blues

I wanted to change my background to blue to reflect my state of mind, but it burned my eyes. This seems softer, but boring. What are you going to do, nothing is perfect.

Monday, February 9, 2009

New Technology

Well, I went and joined Facebook. I mainly did it because my sitter was getting annoyed at my ignoring her requests. It also coincides with my 20 year reunion. I am getting pinged left and right by people that I don't recognize, or forgot about or (in most cases) are very happy to hear from.

The problem is that my technology skills are limited. By choice or by ignorance, I'm not sure. It took me two days to simply add pictures. Well, it's partially my fault. I had to label and catalog two year worth of pictures before I could even find them. I want to make an album and Rob's helpful instructions are "I don't know how I just did it." It's a good thing he decided against going into teaching.

There is hope on the horizon, though: my MANNYS are coming! Yeah, my awesome 15 year old cousin and my wonderful 13 year old brother will be here on Saturday. They are going to stay through Thursday and I can't wait. The girls adore them, and they keep me young. I'm lucky to have really neat teenagers in my life who enjoy spending their vacation with a couple of old farts.

Well, back to figuring out Facebook. This kind of seems like a digital version of will you sign my year book. It's nice to know that everyone I knew back in the day is still just as goofy. Technology can't change that.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

By the Way

I signed up for Facebook. I am much better at blogging because it involves words. Facebook seems very complicated. I'm going to try to add pictures tonight. Wish me luck!


I have a dry erase calendar that I fill in every Sunday night in order to help everyone man their post and remember where they are going. As I transferred dates from my calendar to the dry erase, I realized that I done it again. I managed to over book myself. I had a week of hell to look forward to. Oh well, I decided to make the best of it and view it as blog fodder. I almost made it through, too.

Monday: It was a half day at school. I planned on meeting with teachers and writing my progress reports before my best friend's (our speech therapist) baby shower at 3:00. The computer could not read my files off of my flash drive and then I lost Internet connection. I spent the rest of the afternoon running between the library to help set up the shower and writing the reports by hand. I have wicked carpal tunnel and by the time of the shower I looked like a sweating lunatic with a shriveled hand. Of course I was the gift recorder at the shower.

Tuesday: Yeah!, it's our long awaited movie night with my friends from work. The last one was snowed out. The one before that was in August. But wait, my sitter has an observation for her student teaching, and Lily will be at the back up sitters and Caroline will be with me. Oh yeah, it's drum lesson night. Well, Rob saved me. He met me at the back up sitter to get Lily and take Caroline to drum lessons. I think he was tired of listening to me share my feelings and ask for advice about others' feelings. Clearly, a girls night out was over due. The movie was OK (New in Town). The company was great. After it was over (9:00 pm), I went to Michael's to get stuff to make swaps for our girl scout ceremony on Wednesday. When I got home, I took out the recycling and hummed "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan...." This week was turning out to be doable. I went in and made the swaps, but was too tired to fold the six baskets of sorted laundry left from Saturday.

Wednesday: I teach in the morning then go to an Autism training from 1-4. At 4:30 I go to a training on word study that is conveniently at the school where my troop meets. I get permission to leave the training at 6:30 for scouts. At 6:00 during our bathroom break I look in the cafeteria where we are supposed to have our court of awards and see it set up for a school play. Oh crap! I call my co leader and meet her at the door. She is almost in tears and I am ready to fall on the floor. Did I mention that we were having a K-9 officer coming as well to help the girls with their Bronze award project? There was no space for the officer, the dog, and my troop. I went into the principal's office and begged for a space. They gave us the story room, but we'd have to do the dog outside. It was 13 degrees and I was dressed in tights and a dress. No worries, though. As the girls arrived, I found out the K-9 officer wouldn't be able to come after all. It work out. That is until I sent Caroline out to my car to get her vest. It turns out that while rushing from training to training, I'd locked my keys in my car. Rob again came to the rescue (not without colorful language and heavy sighs). The ceremony went well and I finally got home at 8:00. I hadn't eaten since 11:00. I was still smiling, though.

Thursday: I didn't have anyone to take Lily to school or pick her up (my sitter is still doing her student teaching observations). I take Lily with me to school for an 8:15 meeting (I am able to do this because I take sick leave for the morning and am there unofficially), then take her to school at 9:00. Rob agrees to pick her up during lunch and bring her to the back up sitters. At 9:15, I meet with the autism specialist about a student of mine who is having trouble. I take four pages of notes about accommodations that I'm not sure I can possibly do. After school at 4:00, I have my bi weekly 2 hour testing training and then go to a PTA meeting at 6:30. I forgot to mention that on Wednesday night, the rabbit was acting very sick and appeared to be at death's door. We decided it was time to take him to the vet and have him put down. Before I went into the PTA meeting, I called the vet and made an appointment for Friday morning. I didn't expect to start crying and spent the meeting with a very red face. Luckily, I haven't had time to get my hair cut and was able to hide behind what is starting to look like a Mrs. Brady shag cut. I rushed home after the meeting to check on the rabbit. Rob had moved him into Caroline's room. The bunny was laying in the arms of a hysterical Caroline while she said goodbye. The next thing I know, the rabbit leaps out of her arms and starting hopping and jumping all over the room. He acts like he's two instead of eleven. I cancel the appointment for the next morning.

Friday: The day was normal until we got called into a budget meeting at the end of the day. I'm told that there will be no money for my position next year. I had a feeling this would happen and am interviewing for another position at the same school. None the less, I am heart broken over seeing my program being undone and start crying, hard. I pick up the kids and go home to make pound cake for the girl scout bake sale on Saturday. After the kids go to bed, I take the cake out and it is awful. I pitch it and decide to finally fold the laundry.

Saturday: Caroline had swimming at 10:30. We had the bake sale at 11:30. I took her to a party at 2:00 and then went across town to pick up our girl scout cookie order. I went back across town to pick up Caroline. It really wasn't that bad because we got to listen to The Voyage of the Dawn treader without listening to Lily complain.

I did get up early enough to put a pot roast in the crock pot, so dinner was easy. I can't understand why I've had the thumping intro from Queen and David Bowie's Pressure running through my head, though. I think that I might sleep in tomorrow.