I was chatting with a friend at work and she was relaying a crazy story from her evening. At bed time, her two year old had pooped on the bathroom floor, meanwhile her four year old had covered his arms with lotion and was busily running his arms under water. When questioned as to why, he answered "I'm locking in the moisture." My friend then continued "I was thinking Oh my God, have we turned into the Simpson house?!" She wasn't referring to the T.V. show. No surprise my family comes to mind during chaotic parenting moments. I used to think that the insanity would settle down as the girls got older. Nope, all that has changed is the type of mess and type of chaos.
Take Thursday night, I was busy baking for the staff bake off. It was a Chopped themed cook off with cereal as the secret ingredient. I made salted carmel rice crispy treats. As usual I went late into the night and as I was sweating in front of the pot of hot carmel sauce, I wondered why in the world I kept signing up for these things. I finally climbed into bed and after reading a couple of pages of Jane Eyre, I fell asleep. Rob, however, was still watching T.V. next to me. For some reason (he didn't even know why) he started drumming on my head in time to the music on the T.V. I woke up startled to ask him what in the hell he thought he was doing. He had no answer. Then he showed me the painful splinter in his finger. We both went to sleep.
At around 2 a.m., he flung the covers off of us and started thundering around the room complaining about his finger. I look at it and it was swollen and red. I suggested that he try to sleep. He was unable and therefore neither was I. The next morning, I woke up early to get my bars cut and to help Caroline get ready for her school's career day. Rob's finger was swollen to twice it's size with blisters and he was in a lot of pain. He decided try to relieve the pressure by puncturing the blister with a needle. I shouted at him to stop and go to the doctor.
He ended up going to the ER. It turned out that he'd been bitten by a poisonous spider. He came to see me after school (and got to see the first place trophy that I won for best tasting in the staff cook off). His finger looked horrible. He got prescriptions for an antibiotic and Percocet.
He went home to rest and was going to pick Lily up at girl scouts at 8:00. I stayed at work and was going to pick Caroline up at the movies at 8:00. Unfortunately, when he was home resting, Buffy broke her collar and got out of the yard. The poor guy chased her down the street. Finally, the little turkey stopped and sat like an obedient dog right at our neighbor's feet (further proving how crazy we are to our neighbors). We bought her a new collar on Saturday. It took her an hour to break that one.
The entire weekend hasn't been a bust. Caroline got to go see The Hunger Games, I won a trophy made out of breakfast cereal, and Caroline and I won tickets to an amusement park at my school's carnival.
What else would you expect from the Simpson's?