Sunday, March 1, 2009

Softly

Every once in a while I need to stop and remind myself that "it's all good." This is one of those moments.



Last week, I got caught up in a whole lot of drama that really wasn't mine to worry about. Between negotiating the ever changing soap opera that is the lives of my friends, my co-workers and my daughter, I lost time to do what I love; write. It reached it's height when I spent Thursday night sleepless with my stomach in knots. Friday morning Rob first told me gently to calm down and then in a more grumbly tone threatened to disconnect the phone or speak to my friends himself. I promised to let it go and chill out.



The ability to chill out is a new one for me. I've spent the last five years not sleeping, tearing up my stomach, and steadily gaining weight. I also refused to really let anyone know that my world was imploding and I was drowning. I got through. Now, I just have to loose the weight and be careful with my stomach.



Rob pointed out that I've went through and survived my own rough times, I can't carry others' for them. I can listen , I can care, but being an emotional sponge won't help. Seriously, when did he get so wise? This is the same man who ignored me four years ago. If you'd told me then that he would be like this now, I'd have never believed it. I really like being married to this version of Rob.



Back to chilling. It really wasn't that hard. Tonight we got a surprise March present: snow! The girls instantly stopped fighting, put on their pajamas backwards and started a snow dance in the front hall. Really it was more a snow slam dance with whopping and hollering and frenzied spinning. Then they flushed ice cubes in every toilet. I finally got them into bed. They snuggled in together (it's the one time of day they won't part) surrounded by stuffed animals and comforters. I raised the shade so they could watch the snow as they fell asleep. When I left the room I heard them sigh softly and that was it; I'd chilled. Really, this is all I need.

2 comments:

Katie said...

Good for you Melissa! It is hard to let go of everything else and only focus on yourself. Rob is so right. Take care of yourself and your family. You come first and if you don't take care of you then who will? Yes, your family always will but the mom is the center of family and not being healthy or trying to please everyone outside of your family unit will drain you and leave you a messy pulp. Listen and console but don't get sucked into the drama. Their life is not yours. Plus, if they don't learn to clean up their own mess then they will always flounder. You are an amazing friend and I love you very much!

mooserbeans said...

Aww, thank you. Today was a perfect start. We spent most of the day sledding:) You're an awesome friend too.