I need to go to bed because I need to be up and moving for a 7am dentist appointment (it seemed like a good idea when I scheduled it), so instead I am up blogging. My mind is whirling and maybe if I dump enough stuff out, I can sleep (although the dog makes that hard. Ever since the time change she wakes me up at 12:30 am, not sure why).
I am moving forward into spring with baby steps. I've tackled three 15 min projects: clean the top of my desk, put some of the dishes and boxes of girl scout cookies littering the dining room table away (it was hard to stop at 15 minutes, but I did), and organize Lily's sock drawer (also known as the place where stickers, band aid wrappers, hair clips, rubber bands, and small toys go to die).
I finally decided to call and make an appointment with a doctor to look at testing Lily for ADD. Well, actually, I called, and they'll call me back to make the appointment. Worst case: they tell me I'm over reacting and need to be tougher on her. Best case: I get an answer. Right now, she is miserable and we are miserable. I kept hoping for a change, and there have been some. Her grades are improving by small increments. She still just seems so overwhelmed in the world, and when Lily is overwhelmed it is not pretty. I shared some of what has been going on with a good friend of mine who has ADHD (actually, she is the poster child for ADHD). I was at my wits end and so frustrated and my friend looks at me and says "It's simple. She can't make a decision. Do you know how hard it can be to make a decision?" Dammit, I know these things! I have helped countless parents with children and yet can't see it with my own. Of course that's why she changes clothes 3-4 times. She can't decide. I am also a realist and know that sometimes, my kid is just being a pain in the butt. I need help to figure out which is which and when is when.
Like I said, maybe I am over reacting. Who knows? All I do know is I want the best for Lily. There is no other child out there quiet like my Bean. I want everyone to see the girl we see.
On top of tackling Lily, I am tackling a new math program at school. Not the best time, but I need to do what is best for my students. Besides, if someone doesn't try it, how will we know if the program is good or not?
Oh there was so much more rolling through my head, but now it has leaked out in the rush of type. Now it is time for bed. Maybe I should slip the dog a nightcap;)