Thursday, March 20, 2014

Ladies and Gentlemen, Start Your Engines

Brace yourselves, Rob is out of town! I have long held with the theory that the appliances have a secret meeting and decide which one will break in which God-awful manner while he is gone. Some time in the past few years, they started inviting germs to the party, so they could decide which nasty illness would infect my youngest child while I am mopping up flooded water, jumping the car, reprogramming the TV etc.

This time, the minute he gave me the dates, I wrote sub plans. Better safe than sorry, right? The more prepared I am the less likely things will go wrong, right? Right? Wrong! This time we got the pre-game show. The weekend before he left, Lily spent the weekend with a sore throat and fever. On Monday we had more snow (enough already!). By then her fever was gone, and she seemed fine. I picked her up from school on Tuesday. As we were walking to the car, she looked at me "Bad news, my throat still hurts." Inside my head a hear a chorus of "Shit, shit, shit!" I got out to the car and decided that I'd take her to the clinic just to rule out strep. She couldn't possibly have strep. I went to start the car and "click, click, click, nothing." Now the chorus in my head is yelling "Shit, damn, shit, damn!" A nice man came over and looked at my car. It seems the person who put the battery in lost one of the bolts. When the battery first started dying, Rob and I came up with all the sorts of reasons two intellectuals with no knowledge of how an engine works would consider (anti theft device was the top one). Missing bolt did not even make our grand list.  He got the car running and we were off to the clinic.

I stood in the clinic with the voice in my head chanting "It's nothing, it's nothing. How many times have you come here convinced it was strep and it was nothing?" as I watched the test strip turn bright pink. "Oh yeah, it's strep" the nurse said "You poor baby your throat must really hurt." Yup and her mom is a neglectful nincompoop.

I used the sub plans to take yesterday off and stay home with Lily and get the car fixed. Rob couldn't stay home because he had meetings to prepare for the meeting that he was having with very important people on his trip.

The car was an easy fix. The auto shop put on a new bolt for free (probably, because they felt sorry for the woman who would spend her life with someone who would lose the bolt to a battery). Lily felt fine and was the least sick acting child in America. We have had a total of 13 snow days this year, so I have more than relaxed. I decided to use yesterday to preemptively fix anything else that might break while Rob is gone. I finally got the new filter for the turtle tank working and hooked up the heater for the fish tank. I took apart the vacuum and cleared all the clogged up dog/girl hair. I put away every stinking snowman because no matter what the weather says it will not and cannot snow next week! I need to do my part to prevent that. Now, all that is left is wrap the girls, the pet, and all of the appliances in bubble wrap. We will all just sit here quietly until Rob gets back on Tuesday.

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