Friday, January 10, 2014


The following has been running through my mind:

My stomach has been so torn up lately. I can't even drink wine. Is it possible to make a cocktail that does not tear up my stomach? Maybe a Mylanta Martini?

How the heck do you find every single nit in an eight year old's forest of thick brown hair?

Is my child's head Club Med for lice? The little bastards won't vacate.

Last year on January 10th, I was sitting in an inservice about bully prevention waiting to receive the text message that my mother had cancer. Someday, that may be a life changing moment or metaphor. Right now it makes me sad and tired and angry.

This year I get to spend the evening lice hunting without the benefit of a glass of wine.

How many times did my mother sit up at night and wonder if there would be a place for me in the world? I want to call and tell her about the nights I stay awake wondering where Lily will fit in the world. I also know she'd research a dozen other ways to combat lice.

How much studying can one family put into math? Lily still has a D in math and science.

How do you break a child of a bad habit without making him/her nervous?

The B section of the library is amazing. I have found another book to be lost in. The Rope Walk. I want to be ten and have five big brothers.

I want to go back and watch The Secret Life of Walter Mitty again, so I can lose myself for half an hour and feel hope and joy.

I have tried everyday to collect one moment of joy. So far it has been music, listening to Lily play, and watching one of my kiddos finally read. The biggest joy is that Caroline did so well on her PSATs that she got recommended for AP European History, English Literature,  and Psychology. She was also placed in advanced Earth Science. Of course, she isn't taking all of those AP classes, it would be too much.

Is it worth it to order the Yoga Abs video or should I join Weight Watchers? Will I follow through? It seems that so far I have mastered the ability to follow a healthy living plan for one day.

I have mastered flossing twice a day, though. I am looking forward to my next dentist appointment. Part of me expects praise and accolades. The realist says no one will notice, and I will leave with a list of things that I need to improve upon.

This winter, it seems that I can never have enough mint tea or hand cream (almost two weeks of nitpicking will do a number on your hands.).

I am now 43.

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