Saturday, June 19, 2010

Life's a Potty

Long time no blog, huh? Well it's because I went back to college and consequently my home turned into a frat house. It is no secret that I am married to the sweetest and funniest man, but he knows nothing about house keeping, food groups etc. I have been killing my brain with the world's hardest and most ridiculous math class (Do I really need set theory to teach first grade? The powers that be in D.C. think so.) while the house falls down around us. I kick through baskets of clean laundry to get to my dusty algebra book (FOIL method, anyone?)while Lily eats her third Popsicle of the day. I come home at 10:30 pm to find spaghetti on the floor, socks everywhere and juice boxes crushed and discarded in the living room. Is she smashing them on her head first? My lord, I'm one of those homes that needs rescuing from a good British nanny.

Tonight alone, my youngest wondered if the dead house plant could be revived with pee. "It's like water, but it doesn't waste water." Clearly, I'm doing my part to provide her with a green education. Then she almost gave me a heart attack me by asking for a John Cena shirt. As I looked at Rob in horror, he explained that she saw wrestling once and knew it would have enough shock value to get my attention. I am reading about my cousins' children trying to come up with ideas to save the Gulf yet here is Lily watching Caddyshack. At least she decided it "was really very inappropriate" and stopped watching it although she "loved that dancing little furry guy."

One more week of this @#$% class and I can go back to the kind of mother this place needs: loving, literary minded drill sergeant. I will teach Lily to read, listen to Caroline drum, suggest good books for her, make her practice math on the computer, read fun chapter books with the two of them, go to the pool, go to the library (perhaps a book about the water cycle?), make them eat broccoli, and above all else, make them pick up their junk! Next week needs to end soon before Lily starts playing chocolate milk pong.

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