Friday, April 18, 2014

Slow Down

I got a speeding ticket last week while driving to see my step father in the hospital. I tried to explain, but it fell on deaf ears. The cost (ticket and insurance) are an annoyance, but the worst thing is that I am not a rule breaker. I was telling my friend about it and she shared a story about her sister getting a ticket. She said her sister told her "Didn't the police officer know I'm a good girl?" That is it exactly! Of course I made the entire experience into a joke about the police officer keeping the county safe from soccer moms driving SUVs.

The reality is it nagged at me. There was a message there from the universe. Not to sound corny, but maybe I need to slow down period. Ever since December 14, 2013 (the day the shooting happened in CT, also the same day one of my students had a break down and tried to hurt himself and me.), I have been on high alert. That is almost a year and a half with my cell phone in my pocket waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting and prepared for an emergency. The thing is it is quiet literally raining shoes, and I am still surviving. I am not sure how long I can keep this up.

I am making small steps toward slowing down. Lily has doctors appointments coming up, Caroline just got her learner's permit, I am trying to catch up on school work. All these things will simplify life. Next up, clear the clutter! I need the rest of the family for that.

We went for a hike with some friends today. It was beautiful. I need to try to do that more often. Maybe, I can talk some of my kids into walking the track with me at recess? That would get me moving a little and give me a chance to chat with my kids. I have zumba on Mondays and yoga on Saturdays. Maybe I can squeeze in a few after school walks. I think it would be good for Lily too.

As far a Lily goes, I'll share the facts and strategies that others might find useful, but no more symptoms. Right now it is almonds, bananas, and walks. I am trying to increase serotonin and dopamine naturally. I have also cut back sugar, which has lead to her new berry obsession. She eats strawberries and blueberries like her life depends on it. I have also started chunking directions and "drive by nagging." For example as I pass through a room, I check in to see where she is on a step. That way I still keep moving, she gets a reminder, and I don't stand there waiting with soaring blood pressure for her to "Do it right now!" Nobody in this house does anything the minute I ask. It drives me insane, but the only thing I can change is myself.

If you are driving in NoVA and get stuck behind a silver SUV driving slowly, right at the speed limit, it is only me, trying to slow down.

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