Paging Dr. Green

I was always a big fan of the show ER, especially Mark Green. I'm starting to think that I am paying for my preoccupation with ER. We had our second ER visit last night and I am beginning to see a pattern.

We spent the day cleaning and nursing sore bodies after our reunion. I had just sat down at 8:30 to look at reunion pictures online when I heard a crash from the bathroom and screaming. My first thought was Lily's been playing in the sink and slipped (true); Rob's first thought was Lily's hurt (true again). Before I could even launch into the "don't play with water" lecture I saw the blood. She had hit the edge of the toilet seat and split open her chin. Rob looked at it and through gritted teeth muttered "Goddammit, stitches." Lily started crying and Caroline and I sprung into action. She ran to get Lily's shoes and the first aid kit. I covered her chin with gauze and tape running from temple to temple (I was so tried, I wasn't thinking).

All the way to the ER, Lily kept trying to yawn and got very annoyed that her face was taped together. Rob reminded me that exactly a month ago at this time we were headed to the ER in Illinois. I suggested bubble wrapping Lily on September 23. Lily thought this was not funny at all. As far as she was concerned this wasn't her fault. It was the hard toilet seat's fault. She suggested that we buy soft toilet seats like her aunt in Illinois has.

Overall, this ER experience was just as pleasant as the last. Our hospital has a pediatric section with rooms decorated like the beach. There are fish on the walls and ceiling, there was even a three dimensional seagull on a pier in the corner of the room. Of course Lily hopped down from Rob's laps and started crowing "Ca caw, ca caw!" while standing on one foot and flapping her hands. We both jumped at her as she slipped and breathlessly exclaimed "Be careful!"

Fortunately, she didn't need stitches, they were able to glue it back together. Lily happily explained to the nurse that her mommy had lots of bandages at home and tried to cheerfully fly off the table after the doctor was finished (a white faced Rob caught her).

I have a feeling that my time in the ER is only beginning. Lily lives life with gusto. She charges ahead and learns her lessons the hard way. Just yesterday I recorded the following "Lilyisms:"

Mommy: "Lily, go to timeout."
Lily: "You're not my loving Mama anymore."
Mommy: "I'll live, go, now."

The same situation was repeated later that day with Rob (you're not my favorite Daddy) and Caroline (you're not my best sister).

Gleefully sucking down "bug juice" "Hey this stuff has spiders in it? No wonder it's so sour." (this was followed by riotous belly laughing).

To Caroline "Give that back! I am deadly serious!"

"This hospital is boring and annoying."

As we waited in the ER, I turned to her stuffed Bear and asked him "What are we going to do with Lily and all her boo boos?" Lily made the bear reply in a deep voice "Whadda ya want me to get hurt?"

Are you surprised we ended the day in the ER? Caroline has remarked that we are raising Ramona Quimby. Yep.

All I know is I am going to keep a stock of gauze, tape, patience, and humor. Maybe, I'll add an emergency supply of wine and chocolate, too.