The fact that it is hot as all get out and we can't go to the pool or even run through the sprinklers, has given me lots of thinking time. I've been thinking about high school (funny how every time I say the beginning of the phrase, I feel like Elmo). The combination of Caroline's impending teeness and my 20 year high school reunion has me thinking a lot about my teens. I really have no regrets. I was the same then as now, except I'm probably a little more confident and more of a smart ass.
I pretty much existed in my own realm in high school. I had friends, but didn't see them a lot outside of school because I lived out in the middle of no where. I read a lot, still do and really spent a lot of time inside my head or existing inside a book. At the time I thought I was missing something, but I don't think so now. I skirted the edges of things. I was friend with most of the honors/"nerd" kids, but not quite with them (don't get me started about the tracking system in education). I was kind of like a hippy dippy Doris Day (if you know me, that image works). Marching to the beat of your own drum is lonely, but leads to a strong adult. If you'd told me that then I wouldn't have believed you. I went through my own odd phases. There was the 50s revival with the long skirts, Keds, and pony tails with ribbons. There was my 60s phase which started with mini skirts and ended with jeans. I pretty much lived in a time warp.
I really think that I got as much out of high school as I possibly could. I am not sure what my friends think about it, but I think we lived it to the fullest. We did all of the silly spirit days with gusto, we closed the prom down, long after the more popular kids had gone on to parties to get so drunk they didn't remember anything. I found my voice in high school. I learned to write. I loved working on and editing the literary magazine. I was sad to find out that there isn't one at our high school anymore. A victim of technology, I guess. Truly, I loved high school. I wasn't exemplary, I was just me.
I was excited about our reunion. I joined Facebook and reconnected with so many of my classmates. The funny thing is the ground seems more equal now. At our 10 year reunion it seemed like the same cliques all over again, although is it cliques or just like with like? Do you just go towards those you have common ground with? Anyway, it seems like we have more common ground now. Adulthood, mortgages, recession, children. I think it is wonderful to see and hear about everyone's families.
It looks like Rob and I will be just about the only ones of our really close friends going (time, distance, finances all have been blocking stones). He is beyond thrilled. My husband really doesn't like most people outside of the kids and I. He didn't particularly like high school (hopefully except for the fact that he met me). His experience was the opposite of mine, mostly due to circumstance and partially due to stubbornness. I embraced it, he rejected it and yet we married. Maybe on some level we're both very optimistic.
I have a slimming polka dot dress with a twirly skirt (the summer diet plan was a bust) and am making sure to pack my optimism. Maybe it will be the same old same old, but hopefully I will get the chance to see people that I spent so many years with in a new light.
PS Hope this isn't too Pollyanna. I'm feeling very upbeat today:) Give it time cranky will return soon.