There has been a bit of head butting around these parts lately. Things between Caroline and I are either sunshine and roses or on the verge of WW III. I know that she thinks that I am being bossy, but honestly, I am just trying to save her trouble. I want my kids to benefit from my trials. Although, it was these trials that made me strong and resilient. I wonder if this approach is preventing them from learning to struggle. On the other hand plenty of struggles pop up for them that I couldn't anticipate.
There is a commercial where the mother is following her child around. The voice over says something to the effect of "you always be there for him so... use our product." Then it cuts away to the boy playing dodge ball and the mother jumping in front of the balls. She turns to the boy and says "Mommy's here. Mommy's here." I understand where she is coming from. At one point Rob tried to explain my desire to help to Caroline; it went something like this: "Mom has this need to take care of us. It causes her physical pain if we need something and she can't do it." Thanks honey!
I really would give up almost anything for them. When I give "advice" it is meant from the heart. It is also given because I can't function in chaos. My mind is not organized, so my life needs to be. I believe in being prepared. If I don't buy swim suits in March, they'll be sold out by summer. I don't mean to obsess.
Today, I made the ultimate sacrifice. The power at our pool is still out after the terrible storm last week. I was stuck with two bored teen girls and a very hyper Lily. I remembered that I still had Lily's old baby pool and decided to set it up in the driveway with beach chairs and Otter Pops. I told the girls that I would show them how we hung out back in the day.
The only problem was getting the pool out of the shed. Very few things creep me out. I am chief bug catcher, poop scooper, and vomit cleaner upper. However, I can't stand dark damp crawl space type areas that reek of mold and mildew and house unusual insects. Our back shed/outdoor closet is one such area. It is also filled with cave crickets (my hatred of cave crickets can be explained in a later post). I summoned all of my courage and dragged the pool out. It was filled with cave crickets and spiders. I didn't scream, squeak, or swear. I felt pretty bad ass!
I think the girls were surprised at how nicely the pool cleaned up. They even listened to my story about how my brother and I set our pool at the bottom of our metal swing set and hooked the hose up to it to keep the slide wet. Our neighbor slid down so fast that he missed the pool and ended up with swim trunks full of mud. They seemed to have fun, at least for awhile. See, there is benefit from my experience!