Conspiracy Theory

Rob was gone for part of last weekend. I have always thought that when he's gone, the "fates" in my life get together and have a "planning" meeting. I imagine last week's conversation went something like this:

"Ok, ok settle down. Let's here from all parts of Melissa's life. First let's hear from Appliances. I know it's neck and neck between the hot water heater and fridge. Who wants to break this weekend?"

"I vote fridge. It'll be a riot to watch Melissa try to move the fridge out from the wall without swearing. There's also the frustration of the lost food."

"Next let's hear from Health. Which kid should get sick this weekend?"

"Let's switch it up this time. Melissa's had laryngitis all week. How about we amp it up to sinus infection with gross eye gunk?"

"Perfect!"

"Let's hear form Events. Is there anything she can forget and have to rush to at the last minute?"

"Absolutely! Girl Scout cookie pick up is Friday night. It'd be great if she forgot and had to rush back out with the kids in the cold. There's also a trip to Target for a birthday gift for Lily's friend and supplies for Lily's party next week. Don't forget the 2:00 bowling party for Lily's friend. There's also the 10:45 pm drop off for Caroline's laser tag all nighter. I do feel a little cheated, Melissa was supposed to be a chaperon and Rob was coming home early, but she thought she was too sick, so she found another parent to go in her place."

"See there is a benefit to these little exercises of ours. She gets better and better at juggling and looking for pitfalls."

"Let's hear from Household Management."

"Well, there's the usual: laundry, house to clean, groceries, lesson plans, and kids projects. Hey, did you know Sunday if the Super Bowl?"

"Rob and Caroline should be pretty involved in that, huh? Not much time for dishes and laundry."

"Wait a minute! Look over there in the kitchen! There she is. What is she doing? She has two list going. one with dates and times, one with list of items needed. Wait what's on the counter? Tea? Advil? Mucinex?"

"Do you think she's onto us?"

"Well, we'll have to try harder next time!"