Surprise! I am still here. The thing is life has just been chugging along , doing it's thing, and I have been jogging along side it trying to keep up. All is well here in these parts. We are having a winter with more rain than snow ( a source of frustration for this snow lover). Both girls are doing quite well. Both earned Honor Roll (a first for Bean).
Caroline is still driven and hard working. The realities of grown up life have become apparent to her. She is mulling over the cost of college and a car and a future career. She wants to choose a path with a good financial future. While I admire her practicality, I would rather she choose the path that makes her happy. She really wants to do something that will help people ( social work or psychology), but is worried that there is no money in it. We toured George Mason today (one of her top choices). She seemed so overwhelmed with choosing a major. I told her that she didn't have to decide right now. It will all become clear once she starts taking classes and exploring her interests (high school here does not allow that, everything is geared towards specialty programs, no wonder my child feels like she needs to have her path set). Of course, when you are standing on the edge of a perceived abyss, trying to decide your entire life, you don't want to hear platitudes (regardless of their truth) from your mother. So, I stopped talking. This is a new skill that I am polishing. I am mastering the art of just letting things go. Generally, my words are heard, stored away, and brought up later.
Lily is doing much better. I might not agree with her teacher's methods, but she clearly loves Lily. She is the first teacher to see the same intelligence and creativity that we have always seen. She is in robotics club and the Lego club. As of this moment, she wants to be an architect or engineer. Of course, she is Lily and in two years this will all change. She still has her "shiny happy fits of rage," but they are short lived and she easily moves on. She still has trouble sleeping and for the life of me, I don't know what to do about this. I have no choice but to wait it out.
As for me? There is a good reason why I have been so absent on this blog. I have been really busy. I LOVE my class. They are the sweetest and most amazing little class. I have a student with a pretty severe seizure disorder and I have been spending a lot of time researching and creating modifications for her. I am also pretty entrenched in local politics in relation to education. There are big changes going on here with budgets and education. I am a polite advocate who has been trying to rally the troops to come up with some solution that will not hurt students and teachers. It is my opinion that the further away educators move from working with actual children, the less their decisions reflect what is best for children. As a country our education system is in crisis. We need less business and political input and more educator input. See, I have big opinions. My motto should be "Speak softly and carry big ideas." As my girls start to head off on their own paths, I need to find one for myself. Education has always been the path I return to time and time again. I am a career teacher with no aspirations for administration positions. I intend to stay where I am needed until I retire.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
No I'm Not a Prude
I have always been a bit of a literary snob. Books were not always readily available where I grew up, so I read what I could find. Which is why I developed an early taste for classics. Young adult novels were a relatively new category and there were not the caliber of YA writers that there are now (there were exceptions of course). In fifth grade, I held the kids who read "Choose Your Own Adventure" or novelizations of movies in disdain (remember I was reading Little Women). Well, Lily has changed my views on that. We had a heated discussion about the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series. I declared they were "real" books. Why? Were the words invisible? Were the books made from air? Guess what snob? Your child is reading, so get over yourself! Reading is not the passion for her that it is for Caroline and I. Truth be told, Caroline and I have very different tastes. I tried to get her to read the classics, but she found the language and pacing tedious. Caroline enjoys thick action novels. Lily enjoys graphic novels. Reading is reading.
I do have one exception on my new rule. I refuse to read anything demeaning to women and will uphold this for the girls. As a young girl, I loved fairy tales. I had a serious case of princess syndrome. I really thought that one day I would be rescued by a handsome prince. Once I was older, I was able to read the original and international versions and see the stories for the twisted dark tales they are.
I never understood the obsession with the Twilight books. Neither Caroline or I read them. They just seemed like cheesy junk. I haven't read any of the Fifty Shades books either. I have read enough quotes to be concerned. If you are an adult who knows your mind and understands this is not based in reality and is for fun, well enjoy! But, having worked with women (and their children) who have been in abusive and controlling relationships. The books seems to give the idea that a sweet submissive girl-woman can cure/save an asshole. There is a piece on Upworthy that is worth looking at. Being a woman is hard enough. There is no need to perpetuate the idea that a rough man can be saved by a good woman or that poor girls can be rescued by "princes" and live happily ever after.
I do have one exception on my new rule. I refuse to read anything demeaning to women and will uphold this for the girls. As a young girl, I loved fairy tales. I had a serious case of princess syndrome. I really thought that one day I would be rescued by a handsome prince. Once I was older, I was able to read the original and international versions and see the stories for the twisted dark tales they are.
I never understood the obsession with the Twilight books. Neither Caroline or I read them. They just seemed like cheesy junk. I haven't read any of the Fifty Shades books either. I have read enough quotes to be concerned. If you are an adult who knows your mind and understands this is not based in reality and is for fun, well enjoy! But, having worked with women (and their children) who have been in abusive and controlling relationships. The books seems to give the idea that a sweet submissive girl-woman can cure/save an asshole. There is a piece on Upworthy that is worth looking at. Being a woman is hard enough. There is no need to perpetuate the idea that a rough man can be saved by a good woman or that poor girls can be rescued by "princes" and live happily ever after.
Lucy, You Got Some 'Splaining to Do!
Despite my efforts to be an community minded intellectual who has her crap together, I still do the stupidest things. I am Lucille Ball.
I have had an on and off perpetual cold all winter (occupational hazard). Last week, it amped up and kicked my butt. According to Rob, I am not getting much air at night ( I know, get my tonsils out, but it will have to wait until I can take time off). Consequently, I have been very tired. Tuesday night all I wanted was an avocado. I was holding it, pitting it (recklessly according to my oldest), when the knife slipped and stuck in my palm. It wasn't very deep, but it was still a shock to look at my hand and see a knife (well, the tip of one) in it. I called "Rob, I stabbed my hand with a knife." He wasn't even surprised. He looked at my hand and decided it wasn't deep enough for stitches. Instead of my normal cursing, I started crying "All I wanted was a stupid avocado!" Caroline handed me a bandage (with averted eyes), and Rob simply told me to go to bed and get some sleep.
After sleep, we were able to make jokes "Were you trying to perform your own carpal tunnel surgery?" "I thought I'd try blood letting as a way to get rid of this cold."
It hurt like crazy for a few days (it was in my left hand, which is the one I haven't had surgery on yet) and I kept it wrapped so neither the kids or I would bump it. I was worried that I had really messed up my hand, but like most of my other screw ups, it was more of a minor annoyance.
PS I am buying a special mouth guard so I can sleep. I also had another avocado on Thursday night. I used kitchen tongs to pit it. It was delicious!
I have had an on and off perpetual cold all winter (occupational hazard). Last week, it amped up and kicked my butt. According to Rob, I am not getting much air at night ( I know, get my tonsils out, but it will have to wait until I can take time off). Consequently, I have been very tired. Tuesday night all I wanted was an avocado. I was holding it, pitting it (recklessly according to my oldest), when the knife slipped and stuck in my palm. It wasn't very deep, but it was still a shock to look at my hand and see a knife (well, the tip of one) in it. I called "Rob, I stabbed my hand with a knife." He wasn't even surprised. He looked at my hand and decided it wasn't deep enough for stitches. Instead of my normal cursing, I started crying "All I wanted was a stupid avocado!" Caroline handed me a bandage (with averted eyes), and Rob simply told me to go to bed and get some sleep.
After sleep, we were able to make jokes "Were you trying to perform your own carpal tunnel surgery?" "I thought I'd try blood letting as a way to get rid of this cold."
It hurt like crazy for a few days (it was in my left hand, which is the one I haven't had surgery on yet) and I kept it wrapped so neither the kids or I would bump it. I was worried that I had really messed up my hand, but like most of my other screw ups, it was more of a minor annoyance.
PS I am buying a special mouth guard so I can sleep. I also had another avocado on Thursday night. I used kitchen tongs to pit it. It was delicious!
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
My Turn
It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me, has read this blog, or heck, even met me once, that I do not do a very good job taking care of myself. I almost never put myself first. This does not make me selfless; it makes me stupid and tired and filled with pain. Ever since I hit 40, every day seems to be a new "what fresh hell is this?" I have gained weight, my joints hurt, my hands go numb, I don't sleep well, I have digestive problems, and the latest delight? It seems that I snore. Loudly!
I have always associated snoring with being sloppy and unkempt. I know it's not true, but there it is anyway.
I start the beginning of every new year and summer with the same vows: I will exercise, eat healthy, lose weight. There always seems to be something that distracts me from this ( a new book, laundry, dishes, school work, the girls, the dog, Rob, the computer, the TV, chocolate, cookies, a warm blanket...).
Well here it is again. I weigh the most that I have ever weighed and feel generally all around crummy. I am going to start with a couple of very simple things: drink more water (easier than I thought), eat more vegetables ( and consequently less junk), and walk whenever I can. I'll see how I feel after that and then go to the doctor. Wish me luck.
I have always associated snoring with being sloppy and unkempt. I know it's not true, but there it is anyway.
I start the beginning of every new year and summer with the same vows: I will exercise, eat healthy, lose weight. There always seems to be something that distracts me from this ( a new book, laundry, dishes, school work, the girls, the dog, Rob, the computer, the TV, chocolate, cookies, a warm blanket...).
Well here it is again. I weigh the most that I have ever weighed and feel generally all around crummy. I am going to start with a couple of very simple things: drink more water (easier than I thought), eat more vegetables ( and consequently less junk), and walk whenever I can. I'll see how I feel after that and then go to the doctor. Wish me luck.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Craft at Your Own Risk
This was the year of the ugly sweater. Caroline was invited to an ugly sweater party. In a moment optimism, I showed her a site that showed steps to make your own ugly sweater. I also found and bookmarked sites with directions for making candles, vapor cubes, and root beer reindeer. In my defense, it was the beginning of December, and we had just put up the tree. I was so excited and full of the holiday spirit. Flash forward three weeks, interim reports were due and I was behind on all things school and crafting. I pushed through with much grumbling and frustration. There were some arguments, but eventually fun took over. The kitchen was a mess of candle wax, thread, felt, and baking materials. I also spent a few late nights sewing the sweaters.
The night before break, I'd forgotten that Lily had girl scouts. I dragged my sweater with me and stitched gloves onto it for moose antlers. Caroline knew how tired I was, so she got all of the ingredients together for saltine toffee ( my traditional gift for the staff at my school). Once I got home, I settled down to make saltine toffee. I was trying to work on the sweater while making the toffee and scorched the first batch. I only had enough butter for one more batch, so this one had to work. I put the sweater down and paid close attention to the butter and sugar. I got everything in the oven and things were moving right a long, until I opened the oven door. As I pulled out the pan, a couple of pieces feel off the pan and hit the bottom of the oven. I got the pan safely onto the sink before the pieces caught fire. I slammed the oven door shut as the smoke alarm went off. Caroline went over to fan the smoke detector. She noticed the fire and started screaming for Rob, "Dad there's a real fire in the oven get down here!" I knew the fire would go out and stood there with the tongs ready to pull them out after the fire was over. Rob made his usual smart remark about my cooking. I yelled at the kids to grab the dog and I threw open the back door to let the smoke out. I yelled something along the lines of "Calm down for God's sake these things happen all the time!" Caroline countered with "Jesus, Mom, the neighbors can hear you!" before she realized she cursed too. We ended up laughing and trying to finish the toffee. The chocolate wouldn't melt because by that point the house was freezing. Caroline took a picture of the charcoal/saltine once I pulled it out of the oven. She posted it on Facebook with a cheeky remark.
We ended up spending the rest of the night laughing and joking. We had so much fun making all of the crafts. There were quite a few bumps, but we had a blast. The toffee didn't end up looking very beautiful, but it was very tasty. Everyone loved their homemade gifts and our sweaters. I heard a lot of "I had no idea you were so crafty!" I am sure that none of the gift recipients envisioned, fire, cursing, BIG messes, and last minute rushing. They were probably envisioning mother and daughter togetherness with an adult who had her crap together. What they don't know won't hurt them.
Oh, who I am kidding? I can't resist a funny story. Of course I told everyone I made a mess and swore and set a small, yet controlled oven fire. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't teach my girls to keep calm and laugh on?
The night before break, I'd forgotten that Lily had girl scouts. I dragged my sweater with me and stitched gloves onto it for moose antlers. Caroline knew how tired I was, so she got all of the ingredients together for saltine toffee ( my traditional gift for the staff at my school). Once I got home, I settled down to make saltine toffee. I was trying to work on the sweater while making the toffee and scorched the first batch. I only had enough butter for one more batch, so this one had to work. I put the sweater down and paid close attention to the butter and sugar. I got everything in the oven and things were moving right a long, until I opened the oven door. As I pulled out the pan, a couple of pieces feel off the pan and hit the bottom of the oven. I got the pan safely onto the sink before the pieces caught fire. I slammed the oven door shut as the smoke alarm went off. Caroline went over to fan the smoke detector. She noticed the fire and started screaming for Rob, "Dad there's a real fire in the oven get down here!" I knew the fire would go out and stood there with the tongs ready to pull them out after the fire was over. Rob made his usual smart remark about my cooking. I yelled at the kids to grab the dog and I threw open the back door to let the smoke out. I yelled something along the lines of "Calm down for God's sake these things happen all the time!" Caroline countered with "Jesus, Mom, the neighbors can hear you!" before she realized she cursed too. We ended up laughing and trying to finish the toffee. The chocolate wouldn't melt because by that point the house was freezing. Caroline took a picture of the charcoal/saltine once I pulled it out of the oven. She posted it on Facebook with a cheeky remark.
We ended up spending the rest of the night laughing and joking. We had so much fun making all of the crafts. There were quite a few bumps, but we had a blast. The toffee didn't end up looking very beautiful, but it was very tasty. Everyone loved their homemade gifts and our sweaters. I heard a lot of "I had no idea you were so crafty!" I am sure that none of the gift recipients envisioned, fire, cursing, BIG messes, and last minute rushing. They were probably envisioning mother and daughter togetherness with an adult who had her crap together. What they don't know won't hurt them.
Oh, who I am kidding? I can't resist a funny story. Of course I told everyone I made a mess and swore and set a small, yet controlled oven fire. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't teach my girls to keep calm and laugh on?
Monday, December 22, 2014
New Traditions Meet Old
December was a blur, but what else is new? I got the idea to be crafty this year. Partly because it is fun and partly as a way to make it through the season. Grieving during the holidays is such an odd mix. I want to make it a special time for the girls. I always loved this time of year, even when I was traveling between my parents as a child. It is so hard to have a holiday without your family. I having been reading posts by bloggers who are separated from their families by misunderstandings. It is hard for me not to be judgmental. Every misunderstanding and frustration that I ever had with my parents and grandparents, pales in comparison to not having them at all.
Compared to last Christmas, this will be a much calmer one. We are going to my brother's for Christmas Eve and my step-father is coming over to our house for Christmas dinner. We had our annual Christmas party with our friends. We have reached an ease in our "old" age. Our children are older (the youngest is five) and more independent. The kids hung out in the den, watching Rudolph, eating candy canes and cookies, and playing Candyland. Meanwhile, the adults holed up in the dining room, drinking wine, beer, or hot rum punch, and playing Cards Against Humanity. We laughed so hard, our stomachs hurt. We all share the same sick sense of humor, so it was a perfect group.
We are off from school for the next two weeks. I spent the Sunday after our party doing absolutely nothing. It was glorious! I am looking forward to a lot more relaxing.
Compared to last Christmas, this will be a much calmer one. We are going to my brother's for Christmas Eve and my step-father is coming over to our house for Christmas dinner. We had our annual Christmas party with our friends. We have reached an ease in our "old" age. Our children are older (the youngest is five) and more independent. The kids hung out in the den, watching Rudolph, eating candy canes and cookies, and playing Candyland. Meanwhile, the adults holed up in the dining room, drinking wine, beer, or hot rum punch, and playing Cards Against Humanity. We laughed so hard, our stomachs hurt. We all share the same sick sense of humor, so it was a perfect group.
We are off from school for the next two weeks. I spent the Sunday after our party doing absolutely nothing. It was glorious! I am looking forward to a lot more relaxing.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
I Survived November
It is almost Thanksgiving, and I can finally catch my breath. If you are friends with me on Facebook, you know what a crummy month this has been. It began with our anniversary in the hospital with Rob's poison ivy stricken face swollen like the bloated zombie in The Walking Dead (his words, not mine) and ended with me throwing out my back. In between, I fell off the porch, sprained my ankle and banged up my knee. I have been powering through it because we don't need more doctor bills, and I don't have time to go to a doctor anyway. We have also had happy and not so happy report cards, confusing teacher meetings, all amongst the normal chaos.
Amazingly (well really not), Rob and I have kept our patience and humor intact. That's what 19 years of marriage does to you. When you get married, you have no idea of the life time of crap and insanity you are signing up for. Sure there are the sweet wonderful moments, but the true test is how do you handle the tough stuff.
The vows should go something like this (in no certain order and personalized for us): I promise to love you through car accidents, emergency room visits, kidney stones, the flu; through pregnancy, mortgages, credit card bills, child birth, teething, potty training, midnight vomiting, and midnight pee. I will stand by you through lice infestations, stitches, speeding tickets, family deaths, diabetes, depression, anxiety, dead fish and lost dogs, good grades and bad, grad school, ADHD, big and not so big tantrums, Target, Giant, and other various errands. I will cherish you through weight gain and hair loss, through hearing loss and bifocals, and intestinal distress. I will honor you as you clean up poop and vomit, scrub toilets and wash dishes, fold laundry, and vacuum again and again. When, in the melange of all this, I invariably lose my temper and say hurtful awful things, I will remember to apologize and be humble enough to admit when I am wrong. And above all else, I will never lose my sense of humor.
I can't wait to see what our 20th anniversary brings! I love you Rob Simpson!
Amazingly (well really not), Rob and I have kept our patience and humor intact. That's what 19 years of marriage does to you. When you get married, you have no idea of the life time of crap and insanity you are signing up for. Sure there are the sweet wonderful moments, but the true test is how do you handle the tough stuff.
The vows should go something like this (in no certain order and personalized for us): I promise to love you through car accidents, emergency room visits, kidney stones, the flu; through pregnancy, mortgages, credit card bills, child birth, teething, potty training, midnight vomiting, and midnight pee. I will stand by you through lice infestations, stitches, speeding tickets, family deaths, diabetes, depression, anxiety, dead fish and lost dogs, good grades and bad, grad school, ADHD, big and not so big tantrums, Target, Giant, and other various errands. I will cherish you through weight gain and hair loss, through hearing loss and bifocals, and intestinal distress. I will honor you as you clean up poop and vomit, scrub toilets and wash dishes, fold laundry, and vacuum again and again. When, in the melange of all this, I invariably lose my temper and say hurtful awful things, I will remember to apologize and be humble enough to admit when I am wrong. And above all else, I will never lose my sense of humor.
I can't wait to see what our 20th anniversary brings! I love you Rob Simpson!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)