I survived the recital. Actually, I loved every minute of it. Lily had such a good time. I was worried that she'd be shy on stage. She is a ham at home, but very shy in large groups. I even asked her if she felt nervous and she replied "Mooom, I didn't raise my hand for shy!" She really didn't. She got on stage and may not have done every step perfectly, but she was close and most importantly she smiled like she was the queen of the world! I have been waiting to see her confidence match her ability (does that make any sense?).
I was lucky to be stage mom with an awesome group. We were crazy prepared with snacks, entertainment, and of course my "Armageddon bag." Yup, big shocker, they needed it, I had it: band aids, anti itch cream, clear nail polish, tights, hair pins, safety pins..... I am so glad that I was hanging out with other down to earth moms who enjoyed tapping into our inner divas for a short while. I can now rock an awesome bun, tie multiple tap shoes, and change tights rapid fire! I am also capable of saying things like "Lily quit wiggling your loose tooth, you'll mess up your lipstick!" At least I laughed at myself after I said it. I can also take half a dozen wiggling dancers to the bathroom, help them into and out of costumes, and keep them from dancing in the small puddle of water on the bathroom floor without loosing my cool.
Yup, Lily and I are in deep now. I'll be even more ready for next year's recital! We have big plans!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Beauty
Today was it: dance picture day! The day that I'd been dreading. How much makeup? Can I make a decent bun? Why are my hippy dippy tendencies slowly being swallowed up by my suburban momness? Why do I care? Why do I fight it? It has been suggested that I tend to make simple things complicated and am my own worst enemy. Perhaps.
Friday was the last day of school and I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said it had been one heck of a year. There has been way too much sickness, way too much angst, and an obscene amount of exhaustion on all fronts. Caroline summed it up best "The last month of school it all goes down hill. The house falls apart and we all just try to survive. Then school lets out and you put it all back together." Part of that putting together is a crazy amount of annual doctors appointments. The timing is convenient, the bills all at once are not. We descended upon the eye doctors office en mass; leaving having purchased two pairs of glasses, new lenses, and contacts for Caroline.
Of course with contacts come makeup. I don't mind make up. I wear a little of it and like the way it looks. It hides subtle flaws (bags under my eyes, thin brows) and enhances what I like (almond shaped green eyes and full lips). I am more of a nut about skin care, sunscreen, lotion, face washing every night, I do it all. My great grandmother, Caroline's namesake, was stunning and it was because of her milky skin. I want the same. If she had lived to see me get older, I am sure that she would have taught me her secrets. Instead, I learned from Seventeen magazine and some girlfriends. I have always wanted to teach the girls myself. I want them to avoid that "street walker look" that is favored today and to learn how to enhance what they have. I am kind of excited. After Caroline is used to the contacts (two weeks), I am taking her out to buy what she needs/wants.
It seems like all of this has brought out my inner diva. I woke up early today to get ready for dance pictures at 11:45. I followed all of the advice that I had been given and made a darn good bun. I used enough hair spray and gel to make a Robert Palmer girl blush. Lily really wanted makeup and I plan on using it for the recital, not because I want to be on "Tantrums and Tiarras," but because I know stage lights wash you out. For today, I figured a little blush, clear mascara, and pink lipstick would be fun. She loved it! We got to the studio right on time and no one was there. I checked the schedule and the pictures were at 1:45. In my haste to do it right, I'd messed up the times. Luckily my kids are used to this quirk of mine and we adjusted. The ultimate outcome is I can make a bun that lasts all day. Score!! I can check that worry off of my list of absurd worries.
Lily loved everything about the photo session. I have to say, I have loved meeting the other moms. Yes, there was a touch of stage mom with tutu adjusting and lipstick reapplication or in my case adjusting her leotard to cover her tush. But there was just as much camaraderie. We gathered together waiting our turn, congratulating each other on hair and make up. We joked about trying to scrub off kool aid mustaches, cover rug burns, and finding tights without ripped knees. My friend gave me her extra tickets for the recital, I helped her get her daughter ready when she arrived late. There is an effortless poetry in mothers helping each other. We just know what to do without asking. Someone is always there to hold your toddler or baby for a minute, to dig in her purse for whatever you forgot, or to make you laugh when you feel like the world's worst mother. I have talked a lot about competition between mothers, but I don't say enough about this. It is a beautiful thing.
Friday was the last day of school and I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said it had been one heck of a year. There has been way too much sickness, way too much angst, and an obscene amount of exhaustion on all fronts. Caroline summed it up best "The last month of school it all goes down hill. The house falls apart and we all just try to survive. Then school lets out and you put it all back together." Part of that putting together is a crazy amount of annual doctors appointments. The timing is convenient, the bills all at once are not. We descended upon the eye doctors office en mass; leaving having purchased two pairs of glasses, new lenses, and contacts for Caroline.
Of course with contacts come makeup. I don't mind make up. I wear a little of it and like the way it looks. It hides subtle flaws (bags under my eyes, thin brows) and enhances what I like (almond shaped green eyes and full lips). I am more of a nut about skin care, sunscreen, lotion, face washing every night, I do it all. My great grandmother, Caroline's namesake, was stunning and it was because of her milky skin. I want the same. If she had lived to see me get older, I am sure that she would have taught me her secrets. Instead, I learned from Seventeen magazine and some girlfriends. I have always wanted to teach the girls myself. I want them to avoid that "street walker look" that is favored today and to learn how to enhance what they have. I am kind of excited. After Caroline is used to the contacts (two weeks), I am taking her out to buy what she needs/wants.
It seems like all of this has brought out my inner diva. I woke up early today to get ready for dance pictures at 11:45. I followed all of the advice that I had been given and made a darn good bun. I used enough hair spray and gel to make a Robert Palmer girl blush. Lily really wanted makeup and I plan on using it for the recital, not because I want to be on "Tantrums and Tiarras," but because I know stage lights wash you out. For today, I figured a little blush, clear mascara, and pink lipstick would be fun. She loved it! We got to the studio right on time and no one was there. I checked the schedule and the pictures were at 1:45. In my haste to do it right, I'd messed up the times. Luckily my kids are used to this quirk of mine and we adjusted. The ultimate outcome is I can make a bun that lasts all day. Score!! I can check that worry off of my list of absurd worries.
Lily loved everything about the photo session. I have to say, I have loved meeting the other moms. Yes, there was a touch of stage mom with tutu adjusting and lipstick reapplication or in my case adjusting her leotard to cover her tush. But there was just as much camaraderie. We gathered together waiting our turn, congratulating each other on hair and make up. We joked about trying to scrub off kool aid mustaches, cover rug burns, and finding tights without ripped knees. My friend gave me her extra tickets for the recital, I helped her get her daughter ready when she arrived late. There is an effortless poetry in mothers helping each other. We just know what to do without asking. Someone is always there to hold your toddler or baby for a minute, to dig in her purse for whatever you forgot, or to make you laugh when you feel like the world's worst mother. I have talked a lot about competition between mothers, but I don't say enough about this. It is a beautiful thing.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Mother Lion Strikes Again
I picked Lily up from school on Friday with a big red mark/burn?? on her face. The poor girls who run the after school care took one look at my face and quickly informed me that the school said they'd called me. All I could think was "The hell they did! What happened? After everything that Lily has been through this year, they should have called me. and (this is embarrassing) Oh crap, her recital is in 2 weeks and she looks like a prize fighter." All I said was "I'm sure it was a misunderstanding." I charged out to the car and tried to figure out what it was. All Lily could tell me is she was singing and then her face started burning and the nurse gave her ice. I was tired, I'd had a long day and I probably wasn't the most coherent person in the world at that point. I called Rob livid and he decide to come home as soon as possible while I took her to the clinic. I was supposed to be going to my school's dance and babysitting, but was able to call someone to cover for me. Of course after the fact, this sounds so calm and reasonable, I'll leave out the swearing from me, the crying, the fretting, and the accidental butt dialing of my friend as I'm trying to back down the driveway, you know all of the things that make it a classic "Melissa moment."The nurse had no idea what it could be. She thought that it also looked like a burn and gave me burn cream(which a friend later advised me not to use on her face because it can cause scarring). Rob met us and I guess was expecting to see a flesh eating virus. He was also tired and felt that I'd over reacted. I don't think that fathers feel the same outrage at seeing their children maimed.
I took Caroline to my school dance and was able to see my kiddos. Rob went home with Lily. By the time I got home, he and I were too tired to be civil to each other and the evening didn't end well.
This morning, I couldn't sleep and woke up early. Lily got up with me and I started practicing buns for her recital. I am one of the class moms. Which means I'll be wrangling little girls and fixing torn costumes, ripped tights, and fallen buns. Lily was beyond thrilled with her hair. NoVa might not be truly in the south, but I think my ice tea sipping, big hair loving little girl is on her way to becoming a true southern belle. She looked at her burn and declared "I think it looks like an upside down heart. Let's pretend I got face painted." We also had a hilarious exchange that went like this: "Mom, didn't they teach you to do buns in school?" "My school doesn't teach hair dressing, honey, I teach first grade." "Nooo, Mom, in college!" "They don't teach you how to do hair in college." "Well, why not?!" Nothing keeps Lily down. I REALLY need to take a lesson from her.
PS I know the hair looks more 60's deb than ballerina, but it's a start.
PPS We checked the home voice mail this morning and the nurse had called the house. It was a differnt nurse than who'd I've usually dealt with. I don't know why she thoguth a county employee would have been at home, but anywho, it's all done now.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Breathe
I am full of little platitudes and mantras that I often quote to myself and others. Honestly, I am a walking Hallmark card and how it hasn't annoyed anyone is beyond me (are ya'll too polite to call me on it?). One day I want to take some of my favorite ones and cross stitch them. It would be even better if I could get my friend to put them into a quilt. I can think of no better testament to the art of motherhood (even funnier if I use the stupid things that I say over and over on a daily basis).
My favorite chant is Breathe. So often, I am so stressed, that I forget to breathe deeply, fill my lugs all the way, give my body, my mind, oxygen. It is amazing how well it works. The other afternoon I was manning yet another insane recess time, trying to simultaneously mediate fights, patch minor boos boos, and watch new jump rope tricks. I paused took a deep breath and smelled... honeysuckles! Unknowingly I softly sighed "Honeysuckles!" One of the little boys tearing past me stopped, sniffed the air in wonder , and broke out into a huge grin. "I smell them too. Where are they?" I pointed them out and he continued charging past me, but for a moment he and I shared a moment of peace. That has been so rare.
Ironically, one of the most important people in my life has had such a hard time breathing even shallowly. My poor Lily has been miserable with allergies and asthma. All of her life doctors have been guessing at what in the world causes her such distress. We medicate, she hacks, we pound her back she hacks, we prop her up, she hacks, I don't sleep, she hacks. Currently she is on Calritin once a day, Veramist twice, Patanase twice, Advair twice, and rescue inhaler as needed. This week was the worst. The school called me twice at work. She wasn't able to stop coughing even with the inhaler. These are the times that being a teacher is the worst, I am torn in two directions, switching Mommy hat and teacher hat, loving all my kiddos, hating to leave any of them. Finally, Rob was able to take her to the doctor and they gave her a nebulizer. So far so good. This summer, once she clears up, the allergist is going to do a full battery of tests to figure out exactly what she is allergic to. We don't want to keep her on all of this medicine any longer than necessary. Meanwhile we are all tryign to slow down and breathe.
My favorite chant is Breathe. So often, I am so stressed, that I forget to breathe deeply, fill my lugs all the way, give my body, my mind, oxygen. It is amazing how well it works. The other afternoon I was manning yet another insane recess time, trying to simultaneously mediate fights, patch minor boos boos, and watch new jump rope tricks. I paused took a deep breath and smelled... honeysuckles! Unknowingly I softly sighed "Honeysuckles!" One of the little boys tearing past me stopped, sniffed the air in wonder , and broke out into a huge grin. "I smell them too. Where are they?" I pointed them out and he continued charging past me, but for a moment he and I shared a moment of peace. That has been so rare.
Ironically, one of the most important people in my life has had such a hard time breathing even shallowly. My poor Lily has been miserable with allergies and asthma. All of her life doctors have been guessing at what in the world causes her such distress. We medicate, she hacks, we pound her back she hacks, we prop her up, she hacks, I don't sleep, she hacks. Currently she is on Calritin once a day, Veramist twice, Patanase twice, Advair twice, and rescue inhaler as needed. This week was the worst. The school called me twice at work. She wasn't able to stop coughing even with the inhaler. These are the times that being a teacher is the worst, I am torn in two directions, switching Mommy hat and teacher hat, loving all my kiddos, hating to leave any of them. Finally, Rob was able to take her to the doctor and they gave her a nebulizer. So far so good. This summer, once she clears up, the allergist is going to do a full battery of tests to figure out exactly what she is allergic to. We don't want to keep her on all of this medicine any longer than necessary. Meanwhile we are all tryign to slow down and breathe.
Monday, May 23, 2011
When Life Gives You Lemons
Well, it pretty much same old same old around here. Allergy season, spring colds, two over worked parents, one anxious and moody teenager, Lily, and a rabbit. Yup, Caroline got her rabbit. We adopted a rabbit from the pound. Of course, being us we managed to find a "teen bunny with a sassy attitude." While romping upstairs, she likes to stop every once in awhile and thump the ground. Is this the bunny way of giving me the "paw?" She also likes to make her hutch as messy as possible. This prompted us to move her from Caroline's room to the playroom. Dirty clothes and books all over the floor is bad enough, but add rabbit shredding and well you get the picture.
Last week was probably the longest week of this spring. It is testing season in VA and with that comes stress and crazy schedules. Last week I came home after a very long day of switched schedule and lunch with my kiddos. I had a nasty cold and truly just wanted a break from children. I believe the exact quote as I stumbled through the door hacking and snorting was "I have been with kids all day. I really need a break." What Lily heard was "Please try to fill the giant cup left from Mommy's maternity stay in the hospital with as much lemonade as you can. Do this while standing on tip toe. Make sure to flood the counter (especially the spot with the bills and Mommy's To Do list). As the counter floods jump away so the lemonade can cascade down to the floor and create a "Club Med" for the sugar ants that have taken refuge in the kitchen." Can you guess what lily heard in response to this? Needless to say it was said with much snuffling and nose blowing and accompanied by a couple of lines beginning with "Is it too much to ask..." and "All I really want is....."
The true irony? All this happened while I was on my upstairs to take a long hot relaxing shower with my new lemon sugar scrub.
Last week was probably the longest week of this spring. It is testing season in VA and with that comes stress and crazy schedules. Last week I came home after a very long day of switched schedule and lunch with my kiddos. I had a nasty cold and truly just wanted a break from children. I believe the exact quote as I stumbled through the door hacking and snorting was "I have been with kids all day. I really need a break." What Lily heard was "Please try to fill the giant cup left from Mommy's maternity stay in the hospital with as much lemonade as you can. Do this while standing on tip toe. Make sure to flood the counter (especially the spot with the bills and Mommy's To Do list). As the counter floods jump away so the lemonade can cascade down to the floor and create a "Club Med" for the sugar ants that have taken refuge in the kitchen." Can you guess what lily heard in response to this? Needless to say it was said with much snuffling and nose blowing and accompanied by a couple of lines beginning with "Is it too much to ask..." and "All I really want is....."
The true irony? All this happened while I was on my upstairs to take a long hot relaxing shower with my new lemon sugar scrub.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Navigating a Minefield
Parenting a teenager in this day and age is so very difficult. Most days I really don't feel at all equipped. Especially when you take into account that when I was a teen I was shy and stuck in a time warp. Think a Lousia May Allcott/Sandra Dee hybrid. If I didn't experience a normal teen life in the 80's, how in the world can I help Caroline through the here and now?
I guess, I just do my best and try not to take anything personally. It is hard when I feel like there are so few parts of my daily life where I am not being attacked or having unreasonable demands made upon me.
I am so glad that at least I am not charging through this field alone, I have Rob. Every once in a while though, I need to escape to the time when I was semi-normal or at least felt comfortable with who I was. A time when I had hope and optimism and really had no idea what true exhaustion was. I time travel to the 90's. I was still fairly alone, but I had best friends like Salinger and Faulkner. I listened to amazing music (still do!) like David Bowie, U2, REM, The Ramones, and The Clash. I had my own style of flowy gypsy skirts with Chucks and the most awesome patched jean jacket. I wanted to change the world and had an idea of how to do it. I had no idea how overwhelming a task that truly is.
I get together with my "pre-kid" friends a couple of times a year. They know me as myself, not just a mother. We have traveled to adulthood together. I can clearly look back and remember the moments when we crossed over together: marriage, houses, pets, births, deaths. That was my journey. I had/have amazing people to share it with me. It created me. All of it was important: the good and the bad. I need to let my girls take their journey. I can be the GPS (look at me moving into the 21st century), but they might not always follow. I can't force them, although I wish that I could. I would save them the heartbreak. But then again, how do you know joy, if you've never felt heartbreak?
I guess, I just do my best and try not to take anything personally. It is hard when I feel like there are so few parts of my daily life where I am not being attacked or having unreasonable demands made upon me.
I am so glad that at least I am not charging through this field alone, I have Rob. Every once in a while though, I need to escape to the time when I was semi-normal or at least felt comfortable with who I was. A time when I had hope and optimism and really had no idea what true exhaustion was. I time travel to the 90's. I was still fairly alone, but I had best friends like Salinger and Faulkner. I listened to amazing music (still do!) like David Bowie, U2, REM, The Ramones, and The Clash. I had my own style of flowy gypsy skirts with Chucks and the most awesome patched jean jacket. I wanted to change the world and had an idea of how to do it. I had no idea how overwhelming a task that truly is.
I get together with my "pre-kid" friends a couple of times a year. They know me as myself, not just a mother. We have traveled to adulthood together. I can clearly look back and remember the moments when we crossed over together: marriage, houses, pets, births, deaths. That was my journey. I had/have amazing people to share it with me. It created me. All of it was important: the good and the bad. I need to let my girls take their journey. I can be the GPS (look at me moving into the 21st century), but they might not always follow. I can't force them, although I wish that I could. I would save them the heartbreak. But then again, how do you know joy, if you've never felt heartbreak?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
On a Lighter Note
I have discovered how to change the background on this puppy. Watch out guys; it's time for me to flex my creative muscles:)
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