My kids are quirky. Not in the way you'd think, though. I am raising decidedly suburban children who love all the things that good suburban children love. There are no amazing mind blowing theoretical conversations going on here, no extended huge Picasso-esque craft projects, no scarves and beads and artistic names like Willow. My kids, like me are in disguise. For all intent and purposes they look and sound like every other kid, but every once in awhile something comes out of their mouths that makes you do a double take.
Case in point, at the age of four Caroline was a Van Gogh expert. She would delight in telling people that "he cut off part of his ear because his brain wasn't thinking right." Flash forward to now. You know she's a drummer, but I wouldn't call her a prodigy. She drums on everything (and I'm developing a nervous tick), but it isn't her passion. Her passion is food. While, most teens leaf through gossip magazines, Caroline is ogling "food porn." She loves Paula Dean's magazine and made Paula's pumpkin bars for Thanksgiving (they over shadowed my famous rum pumpkin pie, dammit). This week, she talked Rob into buying her one of those glossy dessert magazines. I think that if I was able to take her to meet Duff from Ace of Cakes or Paula Dean or the queen of cooking, herself Ina Garten, it would be like meeting a rock star.
The only exception to this would be if she could meet that guy who is Owl City, you know the one who sings Fireflies? Yeah, you don't unless you spend all of your time with preteen girls. Anyway, this song is her other obsession. It is very dreamy and sweet and preteen girls the country over can sing every word with passion and joy (a side note, thank you to the kid who gave her the Fireflies ring tone, the one that goes off every time one of you texts her, which always seems to be during homework, which always prompts Rob to mutter we don't have unlimited texting).
Now to the other kid, there's no denying that this one is quirky. She's my logical scientist with the killer sense of humor. Awhile back I wrote about her being an alien http://http//mooserbeans.blogspot.com/2009/06/alien-child.html.
It's worse now than ever. She is just baffled by the ways of mere mortals. She also questions everything they do http://http//mooserbeans.blogspot.com/2009/11/out-of-mouths-of-adolescent-boys.html. Lily still loves her babies (and all of their accessories), but she is developing a new love of theater. Makes sense, her Grandude works at one and we see lots of shows. It stands to reason that I thought she'd love to see my first graders' Thanksgiving play. I missed the mark on that one. She politely watched the show, but on the way home, stated that that really wasn't a play. They had costumes, but they didn't act. She wanted to know why the kids just sat there or went up to the microphone and talked. That's not acting. I thought the show was a hit. It's a good thing she doesn't write reviews for the school paper. My stepfather thought this was hilarious. I heard him telling it with pride at Thanksgiving dinner.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
In My Opinion
Right after Caroline was born there was a show on TV that listed the greatest inventions of all time. It was broadcast over a few nights and Rob and I eagerly awaited each episode. We are suckers for lists and made bets on what would be number one. It was the printing press. I agree whole heartily with that one, even thought that wasn't my guess. I now humbly submit my list of the greatest inventions, concepts, stuff that make my life better. These are in no specific order and subject to change on any day at any time:)
DVR- My favorite shows, any time without commercials? Awesome! The ability to say "Guys we have to go just DVR it"? Priceless.
The computer and all of it's time suck activities that draw in a techo -peasant such as myself- Email great, but Facebook with the chance to catch up with friends and see their pictures? That's even better. Just don't send me quizzes or ask me for crap for Farmville or Mafia Wars.
Blogging- I know, this falls under computer, but it deserves it's own category. I get to write, which I love and see what other parents are up to. I have found so many people like me through blogging. I am not alone! My life isn't as crazy as I thought either.
Diet Coke with Lime- What's in this stuff? Crack? Holy cannoli it's the best tasting thing in the world (well, next to a nice cup of tea). Like some sort of addict, I limit myself to one and slowly nurse it through the afternoon.
Cookies! -I don't need to say anything else.
Pumpkin pancakes- I think that I am hungry.
GPS- I can now travel without the fear of getting lost of rear ending someone because I am fumbling with a map. Plus, when I inevitably make a wrong turn, it helps me find my way.
Birkenstocks- Oh my happy feet!
Polar fleece- Warmth without itchy wool.
J Jill- God, I wish I could afford these clothes. Our outlet is closed and I think the entire chain is in trouble. This could be a fleeting love.
Slings- Couldn't have survived "Velcro Baby" without one.
Noggin- Appropriate shows for Lily anytime.
Netflicks- So many movies, so many choices, so many surprises when I forget to update my que and random forgotten movies stream into my mailbox.
Artistic-ish reality shows- Project Runway, So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef, Iron Chef, Cake Challenge, Ace Of Cakes.... I love them and so do the girls. Fun for all!
Well, this list could go on, but I'll end with one final item....
The printing press! Without books I would loose my mind and I think we'd loose civilized society. Screw the Kindle, give me a real book and a library any day!
DVR- My favorite shows, any time without commercials? Awesome! The ability to say "Guys we have to go just DVR it"? Priceless.
The computer and all of it's time suck activities that draw in a techo -peasant such as myself- Email great, but Facebook with the chance to catch up with friends and see their pictures? That's even better. Just don't send me quizzes or ask me for crap for Farmville or Mafia Wars.
Blogging- I know, this falls under computer, but it deserves it's own category. I get to write, which I love and see what other parents are up to. I have found so many people like me through blogging. I am not alone! My life isn't as crazy as I thought either.
Diet Coke with Lime- What's in this stuff? Crack? Holy cannoli it's the best tasting thing in the world (well, next to a nice cup of tea). Like some sort of addict, I limit myself to one and slowly nurse it through the afternoon.
Cookies! -I don't need to say anything else.
Pumpkin pancakes- I think that I am hungry.
GPS- I can now travel without the fear of getting lost of rear ending someone because I am fumbling with a map. Plus, when I inevitably make a wrong turn, it helps me find my way.
Birkenstocks- Oh my happy feet!
Polar fleece- Warmth without itchy wool.
J Jill- God, I wish I could afford these clothes. Our outlet is closed and I think the entire chain is in trouble. This could be a fleeting love.
Slings- Couldn't have survived "Velcro Baby" without one.
Noggin- Appropriate shows for Lily anytime.
Netflicks- So many movies, so many choices, so many surprises when I forget to update my que and random forgotten movies stream into my mailbox.
Artistic-ish reality shows- Project Runway, So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef, Iron Chef, Cake Challenge, Ace Of Cakes.... I love them and so do the girls. Fun for all!
Well, this list could go on, but I'll end with one final item....
The printing press! Without books I would loose my mind and I think we'd loose civilized society. Screw the Kindle, give me a real book and a library any day!
Random
I've figured out why I hate cleaning the house so much. It's not the dirt or the toilets; it the random project generated by each attempt to clean something. This morning, I was throwing clothes in the dryer when I noticed that a plastic bag was sucked into the filter. I don't want to risk a fire, so I get out the screw driver and take apart the lint filter to dig it out. All of the sudden a five minute job has morphed into a thirty minute one. This type of thing is constant. I've seen it referred to as "stream of consciousness cleaning" and parodied in a If You Give A Mouse a Cookie type of email, so I know that I am not alone. Do all women clean this way? Am I the only one who has started to put towels in the linen closet only to be shaken back to reality by my husband yelling "What the heck are you doing up there?" Well, I saw the old medicine that I keep at the top of the closet and decide to clear out the old pill bottles. Studies have shown that multitasking is inefficient, yet I can't help myself.
Rob's method is to start a project, get almost finished, get pissed off, and leave it for weeks, months, years.
We are going to combine our styles and try to go against type by redoing the dining room. We are going to stick to it from start to finish. We'll paint, buy furniture, arrange furniture, and install lighting. All without stopping or moving onto something else. Do you know how hard it is to keep painting when the closets are calling to be reorganized and the laundry wants to be folded.
This will be a challenge and we are up to it! I'll let you know how it goes when we finish it in a year.
Rob's method is to start a project, get almost finished, get pissed off, and leave it for weeks, months, years.
We are going to combine our styles and try to go against type by redoing the dining room. We are going to stick to it from start to finish. We'll paint, buy furniture, arrange furniture, and install lighting. All without stopping or moving onto something else. Do you know how hard it is to keep painting when the closets are calling to be reorganized and the laundry wants to be folded.
This will be a challenge and we are up to it! I'll let you know how it goes when we finish it in a year.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Out of the Mouths of Adolescent Boys?
Somewhere, up in heaven, my dad and papa have fallen off of their celestial bar stools and are laughing their butts off. Why? Because they sent us Lily. Lily, who is one Wacka, Wacka short of Fozzie bear. Lily, who has started channelling Beevus and/or Butthead. Lily who makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts.
Lily is going through what I refer to as a growth spurt of the mind. She asks at least 20 whys a day. She will not be satisfied with my tried and true strategies of a silly answer and then Woodie Gurthie's Why Song. She wants her answers "for real, for true." She wants a google search and Discovery channel to back you up. She is quiet honestly simultaneously thrilling and exhausting. She is running around explaining how an asteroid will kill the Earth (thanks Daddy) and why it is better to let our pumpkin decompose outside so it doesn't stink.
When she isn't a little scientist, she's a teenage boy. "Do you smell my stink?" she bellows from the bathroom. "I hold your family responsible for that gene." replies her embarrassed father. The more uncomfortable it makes us, the more likely Lily will do it or say it. She was placed here to remove the proverbial stick from our asses.
Last week I was reading to her from the most beautiful book about babies. You could tell this illustrator was a mommy. It was full of lovely drawings of parents doing what real parents do; parents passed out next to a cradle rocking it, daddies holding babies on their knees and gazing at them, and my favorite: a mother nursing in a rocking chair holding a book, head rolled back in exhaustion. The baby had her shirt clutched in his hand in that sweet gesture that I miss so much. The picture was enough to make me want to start it all over again, until:
"She's not feeding that baby! What's going on there?!" First I wondered why the hell I suffered through a year in a half of breast feeding when she doesn't even remember it. Then I started to explain (scientifically of course) about breast feeding. I got no further than breast when Lily stated to snort "Breast is a funny word." I explain that breast is a part of our body that is normal and plunge forth with my explanation. I am all ready for a bizarre response. When I explained breast feeding to four year old Caroline, she first asked why I didn't just give her milk from the fridge. After I explained that her milk came from my breast she looked at me in awe and asked how it opened up (yes folks, I'm a cooler).
After my explanation, Lily looked puzzled for a minute and then her face clouded over in horror. "You mean I drank BLOOD!?" Of course this makes sense in Lily world, she only knows of one liquid that comes from people (besides pee) and that's blood. I assured her that she wasn't a vampire and that mommies could make milk. Then I explained about cows and baby cows, mommy dogs and puppies etc. As she snuggled down under the covers she looked up at me with an angelic smile "Mom? Breast is still a funny word." As I told her to go to sleep and kissed her sweet little head, she whispered "Guess what Mom? Poop is funny, too."
Lily is going through what I refer to as a growth spurt of the mind. She asks at least 20 whys a day. She will not be satisfied with my tried and true strategies of a silly answer and then Woodie Gurthie's Why Song. She wants her answers "for real, for true." She wants a google search and Discovery channel to back you up. She is quiet honestly simultaneously thrilling and exhausting. She is running around explaining how an asteroid will kill the Earth (thanks Daddy) and why it is better to let our pumpkin decompose outside so it doesn't stink.
When she isn't a little scientist, she's a teenage boy. "Do you smell my stink?" she bellows from the bathroom. "I hold your family responsible for that gene." replies her embarrassed father. The more uncomfortable it makes us, the more likely Lily will do it or say it. She was placed here to remove the proverbial stick from our asses.
Last week I was reading to her from the most beautiful book about babies. You could tell this illustrator was a mommy. It was full of lovely drawings of parents doing what real parents do; parents passed out next to a cradle rocking it, daddies holding babies on their knees and gazing at them, and my favorite: a mother nursing in a rocking chair holding a book, head rolled back in exhaustion. The baby had her shirt clutched in his hand in that sweet gesture that I miss so much. The picture was enough to make me want to start it all over again, until:
"She's not feeding that baby! What's going on there?!" First I wondered why the hell I suffered through a year in a half of breast feeding when she doesn't even remember it. Then I started to explain (scientifically of course) about breast feeding. I got no further than breast when Lily stated to snort "Breast is a funny word." I explain that breast is a part of our body that is normal and plunge forth with my explanation. I am all ready for a bizarre response. When I explained breast feeding to four year old Caroline, she first asked why I didn't just give her milk from the fridge. After I explained that her milk came from my breast she looked at me in awe and asked how it opened up (yes folks, I'm a cooler).
After my explanation, Lily looked puzzled for a minute and then her face clouded over in horror. "You mean I drank BLOOD!?" Of course this makes sense in Lily world, she only knows of one liquid that comes from people (besides pee) and that's blood. I assured her that she wasn't a vampire and that mommies could make milk. Then I explained about cows and baby cows, mommy dogs and puppies etc. As she snuggled down under the covers she looked up at me with an angelic smile "Mom? Breast is still a funny word." As I told her to go to sleep and kissed her sweet little head, she whispered "Guess what Mom? Poop is funny, too."
Wild Child
Caroline and I finally saw Where the Wild Things Are. All along, I had no intention of taking Lily. Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers does not a children's film make. At least not for little ones. Caroline and I loved it. Are you all surprised? I was especially thrilled with Caroline, my Indie Kid in the making. We went with a friend who really didn't care for it and Caroline had no problem telling an adult that she liked it and wasn't at all embarrassed or awkward.
The movie was exactly what I expected (Well,the monsters were a little chatty/whiny/self-absorbed. At times they reminded me of my art school friends. All they were missing was a couple of lattes.). The movie was filmed beautifully. Especially the opening. It reminded me so much of being a child, especially my brother (whom I believe Max was modeled after.) I knew it would completely tap into my feelings about the primal-ness of children. http://mooserbeans.blogspot.com/2009/05/of-two-minds.html
In this movie, Max had every right to be angry. The issue with Max was how he chose to deal with that anger. Kids are not angelic beings. I think they are awesome, but they are people in the making, trying to find their place. The rest of the movie is how Max works through this in his imagination (my favorite way to cope). The movie is violent. As much as I don't like to think about it, kids are violent. I had to eliminate the table point system in my classroom because I was afraid one of my kids would "shank" another with a sharp pencil because he wasn't quiet enough to earn them points. Now we have a very peaceful new age policy where we all work in harmony to earn a group activity. I also know these guys aren't leaving the school singing "Free to Be You and Me" everyday. There is still aggression. Hopefully, I can help them find better ways to deal with it (my current plan is basketball and running). I am going to close now. There is primal screaming coming form within my house. Hopefully, no one sails aways for a day and another day.
The movie was exactly what I expected (Well,the monsters were a little chatty/whiny/self-absorbed. At times they reminded me of my art school friends. All they were missing was a couple of lattes.). The movie was filmed beautifully. Especially the opening. It reminded me so much of being a child, especially my brother (whom I believe Max was modeled after.) I knew it would completely tap into my feelings about the primal-ness of children. http://mooserbeans.blogspot.com/2009/05/of-two-minds.html
In this movie, Max had every right to be angry. The issue with Max was how he chose to deal with that anger. Kids are not angelic beings. I think they are awesome, but they are people in the making, trying to find their place. The rest of the movie is how Max works through this in his imagination (my favorite way to cope). The movie is violent. As much as I don't like to think about it, kids are violent. I had to eliminate the table point system in my classroom because I was afraid one of my kids would "shank" another with a sharp pencil because he wasn't quiet enough to earn them points. Now we have a very peaceful new age policy where we all work in harmony to earn a group activity. I also know these guys aren't leaving the school singing "Free to Be You and Me" everyday. There is still aggression. Hopefully, I can help them find better ways to deal with it (my current plan is basketball and running). I am going to close now. There is primal screaming coming form within my house. Hopefully, no one sails aways for a day and another day.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Through a Child's Eyes
Note: If you ever want to get over an addiction to reading and posting blogs, teach first grade. It is the ultimate and most rewarding time suck ever.
This weekend, my mother and I took Lily to see Peter and the Wolf at the local performing arts center where my step father works. It was a ballet put on my a teen dance troop and Lily loved it! I love watching my kids see something that thrills them. Her face was glowing and she would pause every once in a while to give me the thumbs up. Thumbs up is Lily's highest form of praise.
She got to get autographs after and as we left she paused to hug and kiss the sculpture that is outside of the theater. She does this every time. This theater has come to be the symbol of Grandude for her. She loves it and everything she gets to see there. When my mom shared this with Chris he was touched and chuckled. As adults we often forget that what is mundane and drudgery to us is magic to a kid. I bet he looked at the statue differently on Monday morning.
I think that is why I choose to spend so much of my time with children. They take you out of your head and show you the world in a different way. Sometimes it's magical and moving. Sometimes it is a grim reality that you had chosen to gloss over as you bustle through your day. Both are valuable.
Caroline gets such a charge out of helping me stuff homework folders. She babbles away about what her first grade class room will be like if she teaches first grade. Now I look forward to what is a very boring task. On the flip side I work with children everyday who face hardships that I could never imagine. I had one little boy bring in school supplies a month late. It was obvious that they had been gently used and donated, but he was as happy as if it were Christmas. I helped him carefully unpack everything and exclaimed over his new crayons and pink eraser. That joy carried me all day. I have another student who is an amazing artist, but had never seen water colors. When I showed him how to use them and explained that he had his own set just for him he was in awe. I'll admit, I teared up that time.
It isn't always a Hallmark moment. Both my students and children are quick to call me on bullshit. When Lily was asking about how our dog died, I started explaining with the circle of life loving spirit info that I gave Caroline at four. Lily's response was "no, Mom, tell me for real." Rob took over and gave her the scientific details down to cremation and showed her Sierra's urn. Lily was satisfied. I'll send her to Rob next time.
I really can't imagine a time in my life without kids around. People are quick to praise me for patience or sainthood when I tell them I teach, especially when they find out that I often work with kids with special needs. Sainthood should not be awarded for doing something that I love. If you want to nominate me, do it for trying to stop swearing, especially when driving in traffic.
This weekend, my mother and I took Lily to see Peter and the Wolf at the local performing arts center where my step father works. It was a ballet put on my a teen dance troop and Lily loved it! I love watching my kids see something that thrills them. Her face was glowing and she would pause every once in a while to give me the thumbs up. Thumbs up is Lily's highest form of praise.
She got to get autographs after and as we left she paused to hug and kiss the sculpture that is outside of the theater. She does this every time. This theater has come to be the symbol of Grandude for her. She loves it and everything she gets to see there. When my mom shared this with Chris he was touched and chuckled. As adults we often forget that what is mundane and drudgery to us is magic to a kid. I bet he looked at the statue differently on Monday morning.
I think that is why I choose to spend so much of my time with children. They take you out of your head and show you the world in a different way. Sometimes it's magical and moving. Sometimes it is a grim reality that you had chosen to gloss over as you bustle through your day. Both are valuable.
Caroline gets such a charge out of helping me stuff homework folders. She babbles away about what her first grade class room will be like if she teaches first grade. Now I look forward to what is a very boring task. On the flip side I work with children everyday who face hardships that I could never imagine. I had one little boy bring in school supplies a month late. It was obvious that they had been gently used and donated, but he was as happy as if it were Christmas. I helped him carefully unpack everything and exclaimed over his new crayons and pink eraser. That joy carried me all day. I have another student who is an amazing artist, but had never seen water colors. When I showed him how to use them and explained that he had his own set just for him he was in awe. I'll admit, I teared up that time.
It isn't always a Hallmark moment. Both my students and children are quick to call me on bullshit. When Lily was asking about how our dog died, I started explaining with the circle of life loving spirit info that I gave Caroline at four. Lily's response was "no, Mom, tell me for real." Rob took over and gave her the scientific details down to cremation and showed her Sierra's urn. Lily was satisfied. I'll send her to Rob next time.
I really can't imagine a time in my life without kids around. People are quick to praise me for patience or sainthood when I tell them I teach, especially when they find out that I often work with kids with special needs. Sainthood should not be awarded for doing something that I love. If you want to nominate me, do it for trying to stop swearing, especially when driving in traffic.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Apology
I am looking back and realize how pitiful my September blogging has been. It's been a busy, but producitve month. First grade has completely drained my energy, time, sanity. I wouldn't change a thing.
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